I’m Finally Selling My Wedding Ring, and It Only Took 3 Years.

“Designer jewelry is best sold by a woman scorned.” — Coco Chanel

Okay, okay. The quote’s not authentic, but the pieces sure are. This ladies diamond engagement ring and wedding band set by Simon G. is sure to cause momentum in any courtship. Have a girlfriend you kind of like and hope will split your rent? Propose with this beauty, mounted in 4.82 grams of 18K white gold. Need to say sorry to your Baby Mama in a way that flowers won’t do? Get down on bended knee and give her just shy of a carat total weight in gemstones. Just really love your grandma and want her to be happy? The center stone in this engagement ring isn’t the highest quality, but she probably won’t even notice. Mother’s Day is just around the corner!

In all seriousness, I’m hoping maybe someone just wants to buy this to rid me of the juju that’s plaguing my home. I’m happily divorced and cannot get rid of this thing. I have three senior rescue dogs and could use the cash for their bills. I’m a single mom of two kids who want to take swim lessons. Perhaps there’s a dashing benefactor out there who just wants to make me smile. Anyone? Hello? Bueller?